Emotional Intelligence: Understanding and Mastery
Emotional intelligence, a concept popularized by Daniel Goleman in his book of the same name, refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions and those of others. It encompasses skills such as emotional awareness, self-regulation, empathy, and the ability to build harmonious interpersonal relationships. For a long time, emotions maintained their mysterious nature—a powerful and volatile energy that can instantly shift your state and drive you to actions you never thought possible. Emotions are stronger than reason, a fact confirmed by neuroscience research (and evident in everyday life), which also explains how this is possible. Moreover, by understanding how emotions work, we have a better chance of controlling and adapting to the duality of human nature.
In today’s article, I will briefly explain how emotions function and what we can do to live better with our impulsive nature, our primal instincts, and perhaps even elevate ourselves to the rank of true human beings.
The Emotional Brain vs. The Rational Brain
From a neurological perspective, the human brain can be understood as having three interconnected levels:
- Reptilian brain: Responsible for basic survival functions.
- Limbic system: The center of emotions, housing essential structures like the amygdala.
- Neocortex: The evolved part of the brain, responsible for logical thinking, planning, and problem-solving.
For an excellent explanation, check out Dr. Dan Siegel’s video on the “brain as a fist” model.
When we perceive a stimulus from the environment through sight or hearing, the information is first processed by the thalamus, which acts as a relay center. From there, the signal can follow two different paths:
- The short path: Information is sent directly to the amygdala, triggering an immediate emotional reaction without cognitive processing or thoughts.
- The long path: Information is sent to the prefrontal cortex, where it is analyzed and rationally evaluated, allowing us to think about what we saw or heard and decide how—or whether—to act.
This brain structure and the pathways for processing sensory information explain why emotions can sometimes precede reason. In some cases, what we see or hear is transmitted directly to the amygdala, which can trigger rapid reactions to ensure survival—often before the neocortex has completed its detailed analysis of the situation.
The Role of the Amygdala in Emotional Intelligence
The amygdala plays a central role in processing emotions. It is responsible for recognizing threats, triggering fight-or-flight responses, and influencing emotional memory. If the amygdala is overactive or underactive, it can lead to difficulties in managing emotions, such as excessive anxiety or a lack of empathy.
Another essential aspect of emotional intelligence is the connection between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is where emotional self-regulation occurs. Individuals with a well-developed connection between these two regions have a greater ability to manage difficult emotions, remain calm in stressful situations, and make rational decisions even under pressure.
This connection is strengthened over time through practices such as self-reflection, self-control, and mindfulness. These skills, often taught by therapists or supportive parents, are central to developing emotional intelligence.
Why Emotions Precede Reason
From an evolutionary perspective, emotions were essential for survival. The amygdala’s immediate reactivity helped our ancestors quickly recognize dangers and take action, such as fleeing from predators or defending themselves. While these survival reactions are less necessary in the modern world, our brain retains this neurological architecture because biological evolution is much slower than social and technological evolution.
This also explains why emotions sometimes bypass rational thought. A situation perceived as threatening can trigger an intense emotional reaction before the prefrontal cortex has time to evaluate whether the threat is real or imagined. For example, a person with a severe dog phobia might scream and react irrationally upon seeing a small, fluffy puppy running happily toward them.
How Emotional Intelligence Works
Emotional intelligence involves developing specific skills that require the interaction of these two brain regions:
- Emotional awareness: Recognizing one’s own emotions (desire, anger, frustration, sadness, joy) and understanding how they influence behavior.
- Self-regulation: Managing emotional reactions by controlling impulses and adopting a more balanced perspective (not suppressing the emotion but not acting solely under its influence).
- Empathy: Recognizing and understanding the emotions of others, supported by mirror neurons (biologically, we all have the capacity for empathy).
- Social skills: Building positive relationships through effective communication and conflict resolution (authentic connection, listening, acceptance, support, and sharing experiences).
The development of these skills begins on day one of life, gradually progresses through developmental stages, and continues throughout life. Numerous studies have shown that emotional intelligence is a much better predictor of success and life quality than IQ or traditional forms of intelligence (verbal, numerical, logical, spatial).
Thanks to neuroplasticity, our brain can adapt and change based on what we practice. By engaging in reflective thinking, empathy, or relaxation, the neural pathways between the amygdala and the prefrontal cortex are strengthened. What once seemed foreign or impossible—like self-control or empathy—can become second nature.
Conclusion
The neurology behind emotional intelligence highlights the importance of balancing the rapid reactions of the limbic system with the rational analysis of the prefrontal cortex. Understanding these mechanisms not only explains why emotions often “win” over reason but also shows us how we can work to develop emotional skills.
Through practice and awareness, we can learn to harness our natural arsenal—emotions and thoughts, impulses and reason—and truly embrace our humanity, avoiding being reduced to a chaotic dog chasing every scent.
