Starting school is a significant milestone in a child’s life, but it can also be a source of stress and anxiety. Whether a child is entering school for the first time, transitioning to a new grade, or changing schools, various factors can contribute to their stress. This blog post will explore the top reasons children feel stressed about starting school and offer practical advice for parents, teachers or relatives to help children cope with these challenges and spark the authenticity and deepen the relationship with them.

Top 5 Reasons Children Feel Stressed About Starting School

1. Fear of the Unknown

Children often feel anxious about new experiences, and starting school or moving to a new grade can be daunting. The uncertainty about what to expect, new teachers, classmates, and routines can cause significant stress. 

What you can do: 

It’s okay to feel nervous. Everyone experiences it, even teachers. Starting something new can definitely feel like stepping into the unknown. The key is to let that nervous energy fuel your curiosity instead of holding you back. If you as an adult show an open attitude towards new contexts, your child will mimic you. Listen to their concerns without judging or jumping to solutions. Show you hear what they are saying and normalize their experience. Ask them about their strengths and about other situations when they faced an unknown situation and things turned out well. 

A question to spark a meaningful discussion: What part of school are you most curious or excited about this year?

2. Social Anxiety

Making new friends, fitting in, and navigating social dynamics can be a major source of anxiety for children. The fear of being left out or not being accepted by peers can make the start of school particularly stressful.

What you can do: 

Navigating friendships and fitting in can definitely feel overwhelming, especially at the start of school. One thing to remember is that many other students feel the same way, even if they don’t show it. It helps to start by finding common ground with others—maybe noticing shared interests like sports, books, or games.

Another thing is, kindness stands out. Being open, listening, and offering a smile can go a long way toward building connections. Often, people appreciate someone who makes them feel comfortable, too.

A question to spark a meaningful discussion: Do you think there’s anything about this year that might feel different from past ones when it comes to friendships?

3. Academic Pressure

As children progress through their education, they may begin to feel pressure to perform well academically. This pressure can come from themselves, parents, or the school system, leading to stress about grades, homework, and exams.

What you can do: 

Academic pressure can feel heavy, but it’s important to remember that progress matters more than perfection. Instead of focusing too much on grades, teach children to set small, achievable goals for each subject. Celebrating those small wins can build confidence and make the bigger tasks feel less overwhelming. 

Also, teach children to not be afraid to ask for help. Whether it’s a teacher, a classmate, or even a parent, reaching out when something feels tough shows strength, not weakness. 

A question to spark a meaningful discussion: How do you usually handle stress when it comes to studying? Do you have any strategies that work for you?

 

4. Separation Anxiety

Especially for younger children, the idea of being away from their parents or caregivers for an extended period can be a significant source of stress. Separation anxiety is common among young children starting school for the first time.

What you can do: 

Separation anxiety is so common, especially for younger kids starting school. One way to help ease it is by creating a goodbye routine. A special handshake, a hug, or a simple phrase you repeat can give them comfort and something to look forward to before parting. It also creates a sense of predictability.

Another tip is to help them focus on the positive things at school—what they’ll do, who they’ll play with, or any activities they enjoy. Reminding them of the fun that awaits can shift their focus from the separation.

Also, as a parent, make sure you have calmed your inner conflicting emotions about separation or that you are open about it with them. Do your best to feel good and excited about them growing and going to school. Also be genuine in sharing with them that you too feel a little sad or worried, but all this is normal and you are confident this is for the best and it will all turn out just fine.

A question to spark a meaningful discussion: What do you think might make the mornings easier for them? What do they think about this?

5. Fear of Bullying:

Unfortunately, bullying is a reality in many schools. Children who have experienced bullying or who fear being bullied may feel intense stress about returning to school. The thought of facing aggressive or unkind behavior from peers can be overwhelming.

What you can do: 

Bullying is tough to face, and it can make school feel like a hostile place. First, it’s important to remember that no one deserves to be treated that way. Finding a trusted adult—whether it’s a teacher, counselor, or family member—to share what’s happening is crucial. You don’t have to go through it alone. 

Building a support system with kind friends can also help create a sense of safety. Even one close friend can make a big difference.

A question to spark a meaningful discussion:

How do you feel about talking to someone you trust at school about this? Who do you trust at school?

Conclusion

Starting school can be a stressful experience for many children, but with the right support and understanding, parents and caregivers can help ease that anxiety. By addressing common stressors like fear of the unknown, social anxiety, academic pressure, separation anxiety, and fear of bullying, adults can create a supportive environment where children feel heard and understood. Open communication, patience, and helping children develop coping strategies can make a world of difference. By showing empathy, normalizing their feelings, and offering practical guidance, you empower them to face school with greater confidence and resilience, fostering both personal growth and stronger relationships.